Business speak is full of jargon and includes a large number of meaningless phrases camouflaged as English
On our ongoing series we bring you the very latest business buzzwords.
A 404. Relating to the error page on the internet. “There is no point speaking to that guy. He is a complete 404”.
BOSS-SPASMING. Involuntary reaction to appear to be working at impressive speed just as the Boss enters the room.
COVENANT MULLIGAN. Borrowed from the world of golf, a rather rare birdie these days is the covenant mulligan, which permits the borrower to fail a particular financial covenant on a particular test date without causing a default – a default only occurs if in the following test date the borrower fails again.
DROP THE BALL. Often used by corporate financiers when they find out that a deal they have been working on has fallen through.
FEEDING THE MEERKATS. Doing something which causes everyone’s heads to pop up over the cubicle walls.
FINGER IN THE AIR FIGURE. A number with no basis of fact or evidence with which to back it up. Often associated with ‘gut feel’.
IDEA SHOWER. 2010 version of ‘Brainstorm’.
INCHPEBBLE. Much like a milestone but much, much, less significant and more in tune with 2010.
LATERBASE. A database of things or to do list which you’ve been postponing – often used as an excuse to avoid attending certain events or appointments. “I am really sorry but cannot join you at the drinks reception. My laterbase is pretty full.”
LEVERAGING CORE COMPETENCIES. Making the best use of the tiny number of things we can actually do well.
MOON ON A STICK. Used by advisors who find their clients unrealistic in their demands - often for a derisory fee. “The FD wants the moon on a stick for free. Send him to another firm and tell him we are conflicted”.
NON SPECIFIC INTERFACING. Nothing more than idle chit chat but used to confuse unsuspecting middle management as in “I have not finished that particular piece of work yet as I have had a lot of non specific interfacing to complete”.
OHNOSECOND. A measurement of time at which point you realise you have made a stunning mistake – usually relating to sending emails to the wrong person.
A ROLLING LOAN GATHERS NO LOSS. A well used banking proverb in recent years whereby agreeing to defer calling in a loan means that taking that provision and hit to the P&L can be avoided.
SINGING FROM THE SAME HYMN SHEET. Ensuring that all individual thought and reasoning has been driven out of an organisation’s employees so that they can all deliver the same corporate message.
TOP PRIORITY. Usually a stupid idea or hair-brained scheme but the head honcho wants it.